To Relapse is Death?

The following statement was made recently by a Drug and Alcohol counselor. By his own admission, he has seen it in his family, but never experienced addiction on a first hand basis. Here is his comment:

Relapse is not a part of Recovery, it is a part of Death

06/06/2014/0 Comments/in Is Relapse a part of Recovery /by Nathan Hardage

I have been working with addiction directly for several years and I have been surrounded by addiction all my life. I travel everywhere and I see one thing in common…. excuses. Most addicts say they are in recovery, but they relapsed and want to start over. If you relapsed then, ideally you never started. Relapse is not a part of recovery. I will however say, Relapse, Over-Dose and legal trouble is a part of getting to a place where one can see recovery as a option. My feeling is that we as professionals have given our clients a excuse to use. Recovery is suppose to be a positive thing. Relapse is not a positive thing and it could actually kill you. So are we saying brain damage or even death is a part of recovery? That is what a Relapse can get you.

Here is my response:

Uh, No. You have it all wrong. How many of you have been on the addiction side of the equation. Relapse does NOT mean failure, it does NOT mean death, and it SURELY does not mean that a person was not serious about their recovery. Because a person relapses, it only means that they have not found a way to fully conquer the demon of the addiction. That pull is so great sometimes, it can be overwhelming, especially when one has worked so hard to gain a period of sobriety. When life hits an addict, and they see their lives spinning out of control, fear can cause one to relapse. An addict is not facing life issues with the clarity that you and I enjoy today. Their mind is still in a state of confusion. Retreating to that lifestyle in which they were comfortable is much the same as someone who is depressed deciding to stay hidden in their room to avoid all the stimulus that seems to be attacking them from all directions. Look at what the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15 - "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." Everyone, even those who are Pastors, have moment when they fail. You and me. I hate to tell you this, but that is relapse. It doesn't have to be drug or alcohol related. It doesn't have to be an "addiction". If you know that you shouldn't do it, but you do it anyway, that is relapse. If you finish a meal, and you are full, but decide to have that wonderful piece of pie, and you overeat because of it, that is relapse. Don't condemn someone because they are not fully competent to make all the right decisions, yet. You have NO idea what the effects of a chemical dependency can do to the brain, or how long the effects may reside in the body. Each person is different,and the are definitely NOT you. You cannot even begin to understand what they are dealing with until you have been thru it, yourself. Relapse happens. No, it is not a good thing. It does not mean they are not trying. It does not mean that do not have the desire to get sober. It means that they are not fully equipped with all the tools they need to overcome the hooks of their DOC. Your attitudes about how relapse is death, will only drive the addict further into their addictions. Your negativity seems to prove to them that they are truly worthless, so why even try. By your standards, if they try to dig themselves out of the life they are living, and fail on the first time, then it becomes obvious to them that they can't do it, so why even try. They give up before they ever get a chance. If anyone is bringing death on the addict, it is you, with that kind of "holier than thou" attitude. My name is John Johnson, and I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I have struggled in the past with prescription drug addiction, alcohol, tobacco, pornography, codependency and anger. God is still dealing with me and the anger and some codependency. I relapsed many times trying to get clean from the other addictions, but that is behind me. I do not say I am an addict, because I choose NOT to let my past addictions continue to rule me and my life. I know that my anger and my codependency issues are results of my drug and alcohol abuse, but God is bringing me thru them. How? Because the recovery program I am in are providing me the tools and the knowledge to know how to overcome. Lighten up. Don't look at relapse as complete failure. Look at it as a process that most addicts go thru as they fight their way to sobriety. It is not an excuse. It is real. What you can do is to encourage them to get back on their feet, help them back on the path to sobriety. Find them someone they can relate to, someone who has gone thru what they are going thru now. Someone who can be their sponsor. Someone who really understands because they have been there, not someone who thinks they understand because they read all about it in a book, or they have seen others do it.